What we are actually talking about
People use a dozen words for these relationships, often interchangeably, often wrongly. This page sorts them out in plain language. Read the one line at the top first, because it is the difference that every label below depends on.
The one line that comes before every label
The difference between every relationship on this page and simple cheating is consent and disclosure. Everyone involved knows, and everyone agrees. Take that away and you do not have polyamory or plural marriage. You have a lie. That is the line this whole project is built on, and nothing below it works without it.
Two things people mix up
Before the glossary, two distinctions clear up most of the confusion.
Relationship structure is not the same as marriage. Structure is how people actually relate to each other. Marriage is a legal status the government recognizes. Most of the words below describe structures that already exist whether the law sees them or not. This project asks for one narrow legal change, recognition of plural marriage between consenting adults. It does not ask anyone to live any particular structure.
Traditional plural marriage is not the same as modern non-monogamy. One grows out of faith and custom and is usually built around marriage and a clear order. The other is a newer, often secular set of arrangements that may never involve marriage at all. Both belong in the conversation, but they are not the same thing, and lumping them together is how good-faith readers get lost.
Think of it like football formations. The rulebook lets you field a team, but a team can run the I-formation, the shotgun, the spread, or the wildcat depending on its personnel. The words below are formations. Right now the law only lets families run one of them.
The marriage words
These are the oldest terms, and the ones the law cares about. The FAQ covers the legal distinctions in more depth.
| Term | What it means | Worth knowing |
|---|---|---|
| Monogamy | Two people, exclusive to each other. | The only form U.S. law currently recognizes. |
| Polygamy | An umbrella word for a marriage of more than two people. | Used loosely in the press; the precise forms are the next two rows. |
| Polygyny | One husband with more than one wife. | By far the most common plural form worldwide and through history. |
| Polyandry | One wife with more than one husband. | Rare; found mainly in parts of the Himalayas. |
| Bigamy | Secretly marrying a second spouse while still legally married to the first. | A crime, because it is built on deception. The opposite of an open, consenting plural marriage. More in the FAQ. |
The modern words (consensual non-monogamy)
This family is newer, usually secular, and often has nothing to do with marriage. "Consensual non-monogamy," or CNM, is the umbrella over all of it.
| Term | What it means |
|---|---|
| Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) | Any relationship where everyone agrees that partners may have more than one connection. The umbrella term. |
| Polyamory | Having more than one loving, romantic relationship at a time, with everyone's knowledge and consent. |
| Open relationship | A couple who agree that each may have outside sexual partners. Romance usually stays inside the couple. |
| Swinging | Recreational, social sexual activity with others, usually done as a couple. |
| Polyfidelity | A closed group of three or more who are committed and exclusive to one another. |
| Relationship anarchy | Rejecting fixed ranks and standard rules; each bond is defined on its own terms. |
| Monogamish | Mostly monogamous, with rare and agreed-upon exceptions. |
The shapes and the slang
Once more than two people are involved, you need words for the shape of the thing and for the people in it.
| Term | What it means |
|---|---|
| Dyad | A two-person relationship. The basic building block. |
| Vee (V) | One person is connected to two partners who are not connected to each other. |
| Hinge | The shared partner at the center of a vee. |
| Triad / throuple | Three people, all connected to each other. |
| Quad | Four people in one interconnected relationship. |
| Polycule | The whole connected network of a group, drawn out like a molecule. |
| Metamour | Your partner's other partner, someone you are not romantically involved with. |
| Nesting partner | A partner you live with. |
| Primary / secondary | Labels that rank how much priority different relationships get. |
| Solo polyamory | Practicing polyamory without a live-in or "primary" partner. |
| Kitchen-table polyamory | A style where everyone is comfortable together, like family around one table. |
| Parallel polyamory | A style where the separate relationships do not interact. |
Where this project sits on the map
With the words sorted, the ask gets simple. This project argues for one thing: that the law should let consenting adults enter a plural marriage, with all the duties and protections that real marriage carries. That is a narrow legal change, not an endorsement of any one lifestyle on this page. A faith-based polygynous household and a secular polyfidelitous quad would both gain the same thing from it: the right to be a recognized, accountable family instead of a legal ghost. See the legal case for the argument, the Model Bill for the actual language, and Protect Your Family Now for what families can do today while the law catches up.
What this is not
None of these words means abuse, coercion, or child marriage. Those fail the consent line at the top of this page: a child cannot consent, and a person under coercion has not agreed to anything. They are wrongs the law should punish harder, not relationships to recognize. The accountability page covers how a real legal framework targets the abuser instead of the family, and the objections page takes the hardest versions of this concern head on.
See the legal case › Read the FAQ
Sources and further reading
- Merriam-Webster Dictionary, definitions of polyamory, polygamy, polygyny, and polyandry.
- APA Division 44 Committee on Consensual Non-monogamy, the American Psychological Association body studying CNM, including its public resources and therapist directories.